Technical the Evil Wizard

Once upon a time there was a – hold it. My default font is set to Calibri. I can’t type like this.

There. Much better.
Once upon a time there was a prince and princess (not related, of course, for that would be weird). The prince was dashing and so handsome, and the princess was – let’s face it – pretty cute too. The prince and princess had received a magical dove of great speed from a fairy. With this dove they could communicate over great distances at any time. The dove’s name was Internet.

One day an evil wizard, named Technical Difficulties, that lived nearby got jealous. The wizard saw how much the prince and princess liked each other, and he grew jealous of the like that they shared. So one day Technical decided to kidnap Internet.

One bleak Monday, the prince and princess were separated in their own castles, when suddenly Technical struck! He snatched away Internet just as she was leaving the prince’s castle. Distressed, the prince sent a message through a magic mirror to the princess telling her of the circumstances. The princess mourned for Internet’s disappearance, for though they could interact in mirrors, they were limited to the number of times they could talk.
For a while, the prince languished about in boredom, with no Internet to keep him occupied. But then he decided to be productive (not that he’s not normally productive). He went out for a ride on his horse, and got all kinds of exercise to look even better the next time he saw the princess. Then he wrote some passages of literature that will endure in the great libraries for years to come.

After he had done these things, he called the princess through the mirror. The princess was still sad for his loss, but then she had a joyous discovery! Internet had returned to her! However, Technical was waiting at the prince’s castle to capture Internet again. So it was decided that the princess could use Internet for the next few days to send messages to the prince, but the prince couldn't send Internet until Technical left his castle. While still sad, the prince occupied himself with writing and other such noble pursuits, the princess with writing to the prince, and both of them looked forward to the following day when they could be together again!

They all lived happily ever after, except Technical, who was burned at the stake.
The end.

~By Meredith Martin